Understanding Why Transitions Feel Hard and How to Navigate Them

Transitions are part of life. Some are perceived to be joyful, like starting a new job, travelling, welcoming a new relationship, or getting married. Others may find it more difficult, like a breakup, moving away, or losing a routine you’ve relied on. And some changes are simply neutral, like shifting seasons, starting a new class, or moving from one daily rhythm to another. 

No matter where they fall on the spectrum, transitions often stir up discomfort. Many of my clients tell me, “I don’t understand why I feel anxious! It’s a good thing,” or “This shouldn’t be so hard, it’s just a small change!” 

But here’s the truth: our nervous system doesn’t categorize change as good or bad—it simply notices that something is different. 

Why the Nervous System Struggles with Change 

1. Stability signals safety. Our brains are wired to love predictability. When routines shift, your body pays closer attention: “Something new is happening. Am I safe?” That vigilance can feel like nerves, worry, or restlessness. 

2. Transitions demand energy. Adjusting to change requires more mental and physical effort, whether it’s adapting to a new commute or a major life event. That’s why you may feel tired, even if the change is “good”. 

3. Every change includes loss. Even positive changes mean letting go of something familiar, like an old role, routine, or stage of life. It’s natural to feel a mix of excitement and grief at the same time. 

   
   

 Why Some People Seem to “Go with the Flow” 

Not everyone reacts to change in the same way. People who thrive on novelty and uncertainty might genuinely enjoy transitions more. This can come from: 

• Having a less sensitive nervous system. 

• Growing up in environments where unpredictability felt safe. 

• Traits like curiosity and openness to new experiences. 

• Practice: the more we face transitions safely, the more resilient we become. 

  
  

If transitions feel harder for you, it’s not because you’re weak. It simply means your body values stability, and that’s an important strength too. 

 Gentle Ways to Support Yourself in Transitions 

• Name it: Simply saying, “I’m in a transition. My nervous system is adjusting,” can normalize your experience. 

• Anchor yourself: Keep small routines consistent—like morning tea, journaling, or a short walk. 

• Allow mixed feelings: It’s normal to feel relief, sadness, excitement, and worry all at once. 

• Take things in steps: Break the change down into smaller, manageable parts. 

• Be compassionate: Instead of thinking, “I shouldn’t feel this way,” try, “It makes sense I need time to adjust.” 

  
  

Closing Reflection 

Whether the transitions are joyful, difficult, or seemingly neutral, they can all feel challenging because they ask your mind and body to reorient. Struggling in these moments doesn’t mean you’re failing; it just means you’re human. 

With time, gentleness, and grounding, your nervous system learns to settle again. And each transition becomes not just a disruption, but an invitation to grow, pause, and remember your own resilience. 

If the transitions you are facing leave you feeling anxious or unsettled, counselling can offer a safe space to pause and understand what’s happening beneath the surface. Together, you can explore ways to regulate your nervous system, find steadiness amidst change, and feel more grounded as you move through life’s next chapters.